10 truths about motherhood no one tells you about

I was pouring out all my motherhood frustrations to my waxer during a session (distracts me from the pain) when she quipped, “Oh but a lot of mothers I know won’t even dare say those things.” And she is right.

I wanted to say “I feel like a bad mother,” for dramatic effect but I did not, because it’s not true. There’s so much dishonesty, especially on social media, about the difficulties of motherhood and I refuse to be put in that box of “women who shouldn’t spawn” just because I was telling the truth as I experience it.

Maybe not all mothers are dealing with parenthood frustrations like I do but many are. And we shouldn’t be afraid to discuss it, especially with would-be moms. After all once that baby is out the vagina, there’s no turning back.

So while changing diarrhea nappies 10x a day for 5 straight days last week, missing work and then getting sick right after, I came up with this blog post about things that you rarely hear about motherhood

  1. You’ll never sleep properly again. Really. Don’t believe everything you read about sleep training. Even if your kid actually starts sleeping through the night, there are always nights when you have to do a vigil, like when they sick, teething, and throwing tantrums, which is like every week.
  2. Depending on its state before child, your sex life would be reduced from frequent to seldom, eventually sliding to zero. Nothing kills sexual mood than a nappy change or a screaming toddler just before bedtime, and after a long day at work.
  3. You’re always going to be sick, no matter how healthy you think you are. Your child, especially when they go to daycare, will bring home all possible diseases known to men, infecting you, your husband, your dog, your cat and even the houseplants.
  4. You and your house will always look messy, no matter how Instagram tells you otherwise. If you ever see moms posting their Real Simple-ish tidy homes and well-kept hair and make up on social media, they are either 1. lying 2. rich and can afford a nanny and a cleaner, 3. wealthy, stay-home moms.
  5. Forget about date nights. Unless you have enough money to pay a nanny, have a family (you can trust) nearby, or friends willing to care for your screaming toddler, you’ll never going to go on a date, EVER again. Forget your friends as well, you’ll never have time for them anymore.
  6. Planning on climbing the career ladder? Forget that too. Unless you live in Scandinavia or have a househusband AND enough money for daycare.
  7. Me-time will be a thing of the past. You won’t even be able to finish your cappuccino without interruption.
  8. Your money will disappear into thin air once you get the positive result. If you ever feel the need to know where it goes, just look at the pretty baby stroller parked in your living room, the new, bigger car in the garage with enough space to carry the stroller and all the matching baby clothes you cannot help but buy when you were doing groceries.
  9. Your will power is no match to that of a toddler. When they say “I want those chocolates in the pantry”, no amount of discussion, bribing, resistance and threat will make them change their mind. And I am just talking about chocolates now. Wait till you have to brush their teeth.
  10. You will know anger, frustration, fear and love like you’ve never known it before.