31st: On travels and birthdays
I was a little scared of what my safari trip has done to me. I was afraid of going back home, going back to work, scared shit that I won’t like it anymore, terrified with the thought that I would be making abrupt decisions of running away again like I did many times in the past when I was dissatisfied with my life. I was searching for beauty and happiness. And I found both in Tanzania.
I recently finished reading Milan Kundera’s The Unbearable Lightness of Being where he said that when man was kicked out of paradise, he was doomed to live his life in a straight line. The only way to go back to paradise is to walk around in circles and leave everything behind. I am toeing the straight line now and I have seen paradise in my last travel. So I asked myself, should I quit my job, sell everything I have, leave everything behind and join a volunteer group in Tanzania and then travel the world?
The answer is – No, I won’t. This time, I would not be running away.
I like my life now. It is beautiful and it is a consequence of the decisions and experiences I’ve made and had in 31 years. I am satisfied with it.
As for travelling, what truly makes me happy when I travel is not ticking things off a list no matter how authentic or shallow it might be BUT recognizing that all of us, no matter where we live or what we do, are the same people who share the most basic human need – the need to be loved. When you realize that, you’d understand the world a little better and you can make meaningful connections. I think that is what travel and pretty much everything in life, is all about.
When I turned 30 last year, I wanted to write a blog about birthday thoughts and self reflections but I was overwhelmed (as usual). Yesterday I turned 31 and I decided that I won’t be overwhelmed anymore so that the next 31 years would include many blissful memories if not entirely problem-free (because that’s impossible!).
So starting on my 31st birthday I will:
- Spend more time with myself and the things that makes me happy: travel, writing and dining
- Keep my circle even smaller because I do not like engaging in shallow conversations
- Work just enough to fulfill my responsibilities and not more that it’ll interfere with my private time
- Weed out people I don’t really like and spend my money, time and energy on meaningful relationships
- Forgive my love ones easily
- Say what I think
- Spend even less time on Facebook
- Read more books
- Do more safaris
- Cycle more
- Drink only good alcohol
- Save up and eventually invest
- Cry if necessary and not hold it
- Try not to flare up easily
- Say NO
So cheers to me and cheers to life. To end, I am sharing a quote from Anton Chekhov’s The Lady with a Dog:
Belated happy birthday Dheza! I didn’t know our birthdays are just about a month apart! I think one of the best goals on your list is learning how to say no. We Filipinos (by nature or because of our culture) sometimes care too much about not hurting other people and we end up forgetting how to take care of ourselves. I wish you all the best not just on your 31st year of existence, but in all the years to come! Hope to see you in the future. God bless 🙂
Thanks Cristina. I am usually not very accommodating with requests from people outside my circle but after I’ve started The Filipino Expat, it has been a sort of responsibility to say yes to most requests. I found myself getting drowned, being stressed in the process. And I don’t want to spend the prime of life that way. My new motto is to enjoy life in all ways possible (legally of course :-p). I am really looking forward meeting you.
Belated Happy Birthday! I always have the same feeling whenever an epic holiday comes to an end – dread the workload waiting for me. :p
Love this bit: “Weed out people I don’t really like and spend my money, time and energy on meaningful relationships.” Having lived abroad where I’m far away from my family and real friends who I’ve known since I was but a kid, I learned that creating meaningful relationships with people is quite harder. I chose to be more careful in choosing who I’d get associated with in a deeper level for my own sake. 🙂
I hope you enjoyed your birthday.
Thanks you for the birthday greeting! It was a usual work day but I had a great dinner in a restaurant I’ve always been wanting to try. Glad you can relate with my post. I think at some point in our life, we would evaluate the circle that we have and choose only the ones whom we could really foster a meaningful relationship. Parties, casual meet ups and shallow friendship would eventually become tiring. We would seeker deeper connections. I am happy I was able to discover that early on in my life. I guess being an expat and travelling a lot help in opening our eyes on what’s really important in this lifetime.
[…] When I turned 31, I decided to change a lot of things about myself. For as long as I can remember I’d been busy all my life, running after my dreams, trying to grow up fast, accomplishing too many things in so little time. […]