Running dip
I am having a running dip. In short, I am not running, not this week, not last week. I gave in to the cold, wet and sinister Dutch weather. My alarm goes off at 5:30am but I stay in bed, cozy under my warm blanket and the cuddles of my sleepy husband. I slam the snooze button for one hour until I”m left with no choice but get to out of bed to shower.
I am not forcing myself to run in the afternoon either. After work, I just slump on the sofa, crawl under the blanket, pick up my book and read until the husband is done cooking dinner. Or blog. I’ll probably pour myself a nice glass of wine tonight. Oh no, I am not going to lace my shoes and go for a run.
But didn’t she just post an inspired blog about running a couple of weeks ago? You probably might be thinking.
I did but that’s the nice thing about not joining a spring marathon in 2016. I don’t have to train and I could give in to the wishes of my lazy ass in the winter.
Thankfully I am not running to have a summer body. Nor do I run because of an inspirational quote from social media. I’ve been guilty of this in the past. Questioning my own values and beliefs about running based on the quotes I see on Instagram.
Am I lazy because I didn’t run when it was raining? Or when I was tired from work?
Am I lazy because I didn’t run because I just don’t feel like running? That I want to read instead. Or lay down on my memory foam pillow and stay in my soft and fluffy bath robe?
Should I run because it seems like every is running?
Thankfully I am not in that place anymore. I’m enjoying my freedom, really enjoying my choices without that little voice inside my head that says “go, do what others are doing”. I am really happy about it.
I have decided to give myself two weeks to become lazy and not run nor bike (especially after biking against a wind of 37km/hr which I discovered was quite dangerous). I could already feel my body aching to go out and stretch its muscles again. But I want to savour this self-imposed break before I start training for the Torshvn Marathon. I might even extend this running break to three weeks. Or a month. Let’s see.
I like reading your bloposts affirming your perspective as a runner, Dhez. I am in the same sphere of thinking.
Currently, I am redefining a lot of things in my life. This spills over my running of course.
After 4 decades (4 years of it as a runner), I finally feel liberated from the pressure I constantly have put on myself for as far as I can think back.
It is not about how people see me or how I see myself (self-image of what I know & experienced I am capable of versus what I can accomplish under current circumstances) but about having a better grip of my disorder.
I can now silence that (metaphorical 😉 !) voice, which tells me I am lacking. I used to silence it with oh so many goal reaching activity.
Ironically, running goals, having fulfilled so many in a short period of time (manic period) helped me be where I am now.
Thanks Jo. I am glad you’re finding your inner peace.