“I didn’t run a marathon this year.” Sometimes I catch myself saying this whenever I’m browsing through race photos on Instagram. Despite the grueling ultra-marathon training I did at the beginning of 2019, it didn’t feel like I’ve been running this year. Because I wasn’t racing.

“Woensdag ochtend ga ik hardlopend naar mijn werk,” zei ik tegen mijzelf na een heerlijke sessie Pilates en Yoga op een maandag avond. Ik voelde me heel fit, het gaat goed met de knieën, en het weer is weer aangenaam.

Something happened while I was running last Saturday. The weather was  abominable for May cold, rainy, sleet and too much wind. I was on my 12th kilometre, listening to Rammstein’s Rammleid when another strong gust of wind almost knocked me down. I got mad, so mad that I was shouting expletives to the air. I hated everything about running, the pain, the long training hours that’s taking me away from my daughter and this disgusting weather.

Een marathon training is al moelijk om te combineren met een druk leven. Maar marathon training met een baby is hele nieuwe uitdaging. 

I have a confession to make. I’ve never run more than 17 kilometers alone. While I consistently harp on about how I could be alone with my thoughts or empty my head when I’m running, the truth is the husband always goes with me. So there’s always someone to share the frustration, to be the subject of my irritation when it gets too tough, to motivate me, to laugh with.